How's everyone so far ? Eating well, sleeping well ? Jobbing ? Whatever it is, please kindly treasure your youth ! Cause seriously, "you only live once". And once we're pass this age, that's it, gone forever. If my memory serves me right, i should said this more than just a few times already, and its darn important most people get this fact right. Picture above taken in campsite on day 2 after area cleaning, boy was i shacked, could barely smile there. Gala night had been quite the camp i did, and boy was it challenging.
I've always like philosophies, and theories of idealism and the boundless topic of dreams, ambitions and pretty much everything classified under "positive thoughts". I used to tell some people to "work hard" and "you can do it" or even maybe "be optimistic". If you had one way another been lectured by me with things along those lines, then, there is a serious need for me to apologize. Why you ask ? Why indeed. Let me just drive you readers round in circles first.
Personally, i hate the likes of people who i tag as "NATO", which abbreviates for "No Action Talk Only". You can get the meaning just by reading off the previous sentence out loud, so i shall not elaborate on that part. When people say something, its NATURAL for them to do it, and even if they don't, i think its appropriate to do a simple humble apology. Sure, its agreeable that sometimes "sorry" can be a little hard to say, and admitting your own mistakes might require all the courage in the world too, but for the sake of others, at least show some effort in showing some sort of apology or sort.
As annoying as complacent our society is, people need not be so mean such that every word that comes out of the mouth reeks of hate, destruction, and even maybe jealousy. Words are powerful tools to convey thought and feelings. Each word, no matter what the language packs a punch when used wrongly, even if it was unintentional. Sometimes, "sorry" can't solve shit at all after the damage is done. Point is, do not say what you will regret in the future, and always think thrice when making an important statement about an issue or even somebody. This was one of the lesson i learned so far this year.
The human body is weak, and the mind is most of the time weaker. Training for the mind should start young, really, and for this fact, and for the way i can communicate myself today with everyone, i really should have my thanks for my parents who brought me up. Its amazing how a person's childhood could affect him or her for the entire(not very long) life span, the things/skills we learn and the traits that our parents had instill into us can actually change a person's life.
Humans are interesting little pathetic creates, in which when put in comparison with the entire universe, it awfully seems so really insignificant. As a single individual, an entity and a thinking vibrating blob of cells, and surprising this thing grows up to something incredible which can do many many things. However still, when compared to the likes of "god", a single human existence including yours and mine ain't even equal to the period at the end of this sentence.
To remember the quote from don't know who, "The human life can be separated into 2 halves, the first half being trained in habits, and the second being relying on the trained habits." Do you still actually think you are still young ? I'm somewhere past 18 now, and every time i see my teachers and my older rover mates, and even my mom sometimes, i cannot help to stop and wonder, 20 years/30 years from today, where will i be, what will i do and how will i be like. It seriously scares the spleens out of me when i think about it, and as much as possible, i think POSITIVELY about it. And of course, the same logic, we always need a contrast between a good and the bad, therefore i sometimes for think NEGATIVELY too. So my thoughts are like a sine curve, and i found it annoying too.
I've been told i whine too much, i act too "unman" and these harsh words had taken a toll on me awhile back. So how ? I think positively and optimistically, and thus so, i avoided the issue and problem. I try hard to think maturely, and i put myself in everyone's shoes whenever possible if there is a problem that should be worked out. Its really tiring, and i really really really want to give up there. For once, and maybe from now onwards, i should not be so nice to people because doing so, and especially in our century of rapid growth, they will really take advantage of me.
This is dragging a little bit, but once in a while this is a good way to do some thinking and maybe share it with some people who are going through the same thing. I would like to take this chance to write somethings i would not normally say in person. I want to thank all who had somehow someway helped me in my life. This includes bullies, teachers who had hit me when i was young, and troublemakers in my scouts group who seriously know nothing about being disciplined, and even that lady who shattered me into quarks for which i had yet to get even about. They were walls for me to help me grow, to help me mature. For there were no obstacles such as these people, i cannot imagine what kind of person i would be like. A big thank you to you know who, whom had helped me mentally and gave me the moral support i needed the past year, and the year 2006 so far had been the rockiest and "most fun" period ever. This blog is public, and who knows who might read it, maybe even my mom is going to read it some of it, so i should never ever bad mouth or even "praise" her. Nevertheless, if somehow i had disappeared somewhere, thanks mom for bringing me up far.
Back to the issue at hand, i myself had been pretty much NATO-ing. Pot calling the kettle black eh ? And for this very truth right now, i had been disappointed in myself for being so. And the current yk is seriously not up to standard. I had been saying a lot, i had been trying to prove that i am capable, but all these things i had said, were all bull shit. Nothing had been motivating me to do things, and recently i felt pretty much useless, as if like a living parasite, leeching off the world of its energy. Somehow in the future, i must make up for it.
From now on, *sweats*, to quote scouts, i hereby promise to do my best, and for every move i make, i shall be deemed responsible to the life that i owe to my parents and my precious friends around me. Now i should ask my myself some questions.
-What do i want to achieve in life.
-What can the current me achieve in life and how far my capabilities can take me.
-What are indeed my limits ?
-What can i do right now to improve the situation i am in now ?
There are many other things i need to do before i leave this place, for i feel that there is a need for remembrance for my existence no matter how minute it is. I still need to tell her how i feel, i still need to buck up and meet the expectation of myself and friends, and many many trivial issues.
I am not going to think too much about planning my future anymore as 2006 had taught me many lessons of the unthinkable and the unpredictable things. Ben asked me whether i believed in fate or even destiny, and to that question, my answer is, no i am not sure, and i won't be bothered even if they existed or not.
Enjoy the holidays people, live your life to the fullest, and if one day we leave this place, leave happy without resent for what we had not achieved or accomplished. Back to work ! Can't believe i spent 1 hour typing this, please tag your views or click comments below. Thanks for reading this 1500 word post.
